assignment

This morning I was nagging my colleagues coz I desparately wanted a daily assignment after having my byline disappeared on the newspaper for days. This one interests me a bit - a survey on Nepalese who live in Hong Kong. Some kind of public opinion stur before the anti-racism lawdraft comes out. But badly it is held by the Soceity for Community Organisation, the non-profit civic group which has a tiny and barely-funitured office in a Chinese-style old building in ShamShuiPo. Kweilin Street. Looks like where the Beijing prostitutes opearate their filthy business. I walked upstairs mumbling shit but came out with a smile. Not only was I impressed by the stories of the Nepalese who were obviously in hardship living in homogenous Hong Kong, but there I also met a very attractive woman. She's called Annie Lin, a community organiser for the society. Sporting thick plastic-rimmed glasses and a heavy make-up supposedly put up for the press conference, her calm and stern face gives a sense of sincerity and seriousness. She works for the organisation, mainly to help out the minority in need and as an activist who pushes on ethinic groups friendly policies. As she started reading out the results of the survey, my eyes could not help stopping at her. Psychology experts say one's pupils enlarge when appealed to an attractive object. I could feel it. As she went along, I was further enticed by her clean British accent and exotically accented Cantonese. I'm sure she's not a native speaker. She could be from Taiwan or Singapore. The plain-colored clothing and the simple hair style were clean enough to make me imagine she's an eager social activist whose mind is devoted to human rights. She is also knowledgeable and responsive. She would cite provisions of different international laws on human rights. Her answers to my questions were to the point. I could find good quotes from her. After the conference, I approached her for a name card. Face-to-face, I realised she should be over 25, if not 30, as the shy woman smiled broadly surfacing thin lines behind the make-up as she talked to this 23-year-old journalist(reporter actually) who was pretending to be calm and sound. Wanting so badly to know her more, I feel I am still a hungry little kid who has never seen women. How can I stay on one woman? Or all guys are the same? Maybe my mind will change when I get my dream woman? I am thinking too much. I can never fall in love this way. But, but, there is one thing ascertained by this piece of life. Smart women are very attractive to me. Well. I'm attractive to smart women I bet. But at the same time they need a strong guy, which I'm not yet so. Unfortunate. my ex-gf, who changed my life by wounding my tailbone, surprisingly know me so much. She said being too sensitive will hinder me from growing up and thinking too much will just make me weaker. She got me on this point.

work

Getting off at 10pm, what can I do? Go home. Reaching home at 12am, what can I do? Sleep. Sleeping til 10am, what can I do? Work. Having holiday, what can I do? Sleep. Sleeping 10 hours on holiday, what can I do? Nothing. After doing nothing, what can I do? Work. This is reality, what can I do?

god?

Something very interesting happened today. I was in a media reception of the ICAC. Near the end of it, somebody suddenly asked: '' Are you shaw?'' I said:"I am UC" She said:''Did you ever join singing contests?'' I said:''You are the only person in the world who remembers.'' I started to get embarassed, coz I don't even know her! Maybe I still got some fans out there :P Well, with my face starting to get red, I was listening to how she was telling other reporters how good i sing. I have forgotten for long about this kinda thing. I mean - when was the last time I was on stage? years....she still remembers it. what a magic :D Just the same time, another person stepped in, saying'' He doesn't look like a good singer.'' I said:''Yup, this is a more common comment on me'' Then, my fan said:'' nono he sings really good. you sing jacky cheung's songs right?'' aha. yup i said. The chitchat took a break as the interviewee had something to say. But afterwards, as i was walking out of the venue, she said: '' Remember to give me a namecard when you get one, singer god'' Oh. Singer god. I think I am :P

moaning

People have said to me I look like a guy born with a silver spoon. Basically what they mean is I look kinda rich. I look graduated abroad. I look like an ''englishman''. I start to feel this way. I start to think in English and become a very good direct translator. Maybe it's the first step towards being an anchor on ATV world or something, ha. I write faster now and in a more accurate way. Six months of training like hell in the fucking yet loving news organisation. wow now I am called the press. Something I have dreamed of. Today, I chatted with Yeoh Eng-kiong, the health chief of Hong Kong, in a spring gathering of the hospital authority. He is quite nice. but still, i am not confident enough to manipulate him. He won when i asked him about something I was asked to ask. but it's quite interesting being in a social gathering when so many celebrities were present. Sometimes, I feel something built-in my mind is telling me what to do and how to react to news + news-makers. When did i learn it from? Why did I become so energetic since I graduated? The other question is why was i so lazy back at school? I mean four years of schooling, in which exam did i really tried my best? the United States. At which moment was I able to realise myself? Did i waste the years that have elapsed? Anyhow, I know i'm special. This special kid is waiting God to convert him into a man, and a mature, successful man. Well, a man with a woman whom he loves.

....

''Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none'' - Sane hearts - versus - ''Cold to all, care none and do right to a few'' - evil hearts. ''The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost'' - I say, the time to love anything is when u realise it has been lost. Winston Churchill liked pigs:''Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.'' ''All you need is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.'' Anonymous: Love makes one restless, joyous but speechless. Refused love gives one sleepless, thoughtless sadness.

mai po

One day before the Mai Po reserve was closed, flocks of cormorants were gliding peacefully across the foggy winter sky before reaching trees where they quietly settled down, ready to sit out the winter.A short distance away on the grassy edge of the rural wetland bordering Shenzhen, two staff from the Agriculture, Fisheries and Conservation Department were sporting full protective gear such as plastic boots, surgical masks and gloves, while collecting blobs of bird faeces for laboratory tests on avian flu. Who should we point the accusing fingers at the culprit for the swift spread of bird flu this year? Are migratory birds guilty? Or there is something to do with chickens? WHO spokeswoman Maria Cheng said recently the birds are a ``natural reservoir for the disease'', acting as carriers that don't get sick.This also prompted the Hong Kong government to order the closure of four aviaries and the Mai Po Nature Reserve in the northern New Territories. However, the theory that migratory birds may be causing the bird flu outbreak does not make any sense to Martin Williams, who has a doctorate in physical chemistry from Cambridge University and is also an editor of Autumn Bird Migration at Beidaihe. Williams, who said the closure was ridiculous, believes smugglers are to blame, citing previous cases of smuggling with one of them believed to have triggered Taiwan's outbreak. He also said the timing of the outbreak does not match migratory birds' flying pattern, which gives strong evidence that the birds did not spread the disease. He said it is ``time to look at science'' to answer the key question of how the deadly virus is spread. WWF Hong Kong, which runs the Mai Po Reserve, says hundreds of thousands of dollars will be lost due to cancellation of bird-watch tours during the month-long closure. Reserve manager Lew Young, while saying he respected the government's decision to seal it off, said that wild birds pose no immediate threat to public health. In fact, from the 7,600 faecal samples taken from birds settling in Mai Po last year, none gave a positive result on bird flu. Williams, who is a partner of First Step Nature Tours which guides bird-watch tours in the reserve, said the statistics show migratory birds are not spreading the disease. He said that, in July and August every year, many migratory waterfowls start flying from Russia or mainland China to wetlands and marshlands in the south where they winter. By October or November, many of them have reached their choices of stay, varying from as south as Vietnam to the Yangtze River on the mainland. Williams, 43, said the timing of the outbreak that erupted in the second half of last year does not fit migratory birds' flying pattern. On December 15, South Korea confirmed an outbreak of avian flu at a farm while Japan reported a similar outbreak on January 13. ``That is the time when migratory birds are settled in the south. They are not moving around very much by then,'' Williams, who has been studying birds since 1985, told MetroNews. He said the outbreak in Vietnam, which erupted in July according to media reports, is too early if it is caused by migratory birds, which were still up north in Russia. According to the Japan Times, the Indonesian government admits the deadly flu had appeared as early as September. ``Most migratory waterfowls do not reach down to Indonesia either. They are very rare there,'' Williams said. ``You take the notion that birds migrate and you draw some lines on the map. ``Knowing that they do carry original bird flu, you make a jump and say: `they carry H5N1','' he said, describing those who link bird flu with migratory birds as ``not respecting science''. He said the new strain of the virus is so fatal that birds will die fast before being able to transmit it from one place to another, citing the example of a dead falcon found in Tuen Mun last month that was later found to bear H5N1. The British New Scientist magazine, in its latest issue, claims that the virus could have evolved on the mainland as early as in the first half of last year and was spread through smuggling of poultry. Williams echos the allegation, citing reports that a shipment of duck meat from the mainland had H5N1 early last year. He also said the outbreak of bird flu in Taiwan last month can be traced to duck meat smuggled in from the mainland. ``There are hundreds of millions of chickens around Asia, especially in China. It is very difficult to make sure not one of them contains the virus,'' he said. ``It is easy to blame migratory birds. They don't vote. ``We don't perceive them as having a big economic value . . . as the poultry industry that is worth billions of dollars.'' the avid bird watcher said.

boss

It is just another new guy who landed after the editorial shake-up. American again, who, like our new deputy chief, positions himself as a writing coach. What is so important about standing out the writing coach image? It possibly has to do with power balancing with old staff. This guy, apparently in his 50s, came to my temporary desk today and lectured how I should go with the pig breeder's story. Hong Kong last farm being forced out of business - well, sounds ok, especially for foreigners. The main point - I didn't tell him I have already got a hold of my target interviewee, and my editor asked me to work on it , thus assigned me no daily piece tomorrow. Yes. Tomorrow could be an easier day. I will just call you, Mr. Mak. Come on baby.

139am

Nights have come and gone too fast these days. Now, 1:39am, does not seem to have come after I have done anything at home after a long day filled with usual stress and, particularly today, supressed anger at my heartless editor who made annoying, disruptive changes to the flow of my story. No mood to sleep, with my stomach cramping as usual, realising too soon will come the time for getting up on another working day. Where is life? 15 hours of work and travel a day. Separate holidays spent on long but shallow sleep. Two days off a week, true, but they are not bringing me the feel of rest. This is reality. I have told friends we should not give in to reality. This only works when people have no emotions. ''This is the post-modern syndrome afflicting well-fed youngsters born in the affluent '80s.'' This is also what I told one friend. I think this is kinda true. There is one good thing, as far as I have sought to find out, about this job - I started to feel comfortable while writing, well, typing.

deen

Let's see how he's gonna change it. I just finished writing a feature story on the controversy over the spread of bird flu. I was told to write in a feature style, so of course I tried to make it special with different wordings and a figurative beginning. But,my editor called me up and asked me to rewrite it. He actually rewrote part of it for me. Frustrated, I watched what he was typing on screen with his wringled fingers tapping loud on the keyboard. I sadly realised he was changing it into normal style with a internal pyramid mode. so depressing. Dionne, sorry the article published tomorrow is not written by me. Too bad.

bird watcher

I just had a phone interview with a bird watcher on the controversy over the role of migratory birds in the spread of bird flu. Maybe it is too controversial, I have no idea of what he was talking about. Sounding British, he cited types of birds, ducks, wild birds .....that I wouldn't even know the Chinese name of. My resort was keep saying ''right..right'' ''oh....yeah'' while brushing my mess hair right out of bed on this supposed-to-be holiday Saturday. Yeah, my editor told me there is not such thing of working nine hours in journalism. Tomorrow, i'm gonna actually go find him in the remote island of Cheung Chau at noon. I hope talking face to face will help coz i can at least read his lips and show on my face of total confusion and nag him for at least one hour - things i can no way do over the phone. But, tomorrow is the deadline of the article. Can I finish it? Of course I can. But the content....this reminds me of a point a book i once read cites, ''Creative people are always stuck with too much information and unable initiate work.'' That applies so perfectly to me. I still haven't got a clear picture even after reading tons of articles !